Posts

The Great Mug Fiasco: Or, Why I'm Never Attending a Craft Fair Again

This week, I had the opportunity to participate in a "holiday boutique" fundraising craft fair at my daughter's junior high. I had never done something like that before - not since I was a child witnessing my mother embark upon her many entrepreneurial efforts, whether it was selling Avon makeup or teaching Bradley Method birthing classes. As an introvert with social anxiety, participating in a craft fair isn't the type of activity to which I'd normally be drawn - in fact, it's the type of event that I would normally avoid like the plague as a buyer even, let alone a seller. I hate crowds and noise - I hate the fair, Disneyland, and airports all for that exact reason. The only exception I make is for concerts, because my desire to hear live music outweighs my dislike of the above. So, as I sat behind my little, black table at the event, I found myself wondering just how the hell I got there. I was surrounded by loud, unabashed vendors, proudly hawking their...

Ten Questions Not to Ask a New Mom

As some of you may know, my boyfriend and I recently welcomed a new member into our family. Our baby girl was born a few weeks ago, and we are beyond thrilled to have her round-out our blended family of five, which includes his 10yo daughter from a previous relationship, my 7yo daughter from a previous relationship, and now our baby girl together. It has been seven years since I last had a newborn, and I’m already realizing how many things I’ve forgotten (read: blocked out) from the last time around. I forgot how hungry little babies are, how exhausting and often monotonous new parenting is, and how adorable kids are before they learn how to sass and complain. ;) I also forgot how nosy and judgemental people can be when you’re a “new” mom. The same people who think they have a right to ask you incredibly invasive questions when you’re pregnant, have even more questions once the baby is born. I feel like most of the time, people aren’t intentionally trying to upset you, but that still...

Five Ways My Second Pregnancy Has Been Totally Different From My First

I’m 38 weeks pregnant now with my second child, and as I approach the finish line and get ready to welcome baby girl, I find myself reflecting on just how different this pregnancy has been from my first. Before I delve in, I want to note that technically, this is my third pregnancy. In the winter of 2017, I suffered a devastating loss at 10 weeks, when I learned that the fetus did not have a heartbeat. It took two rounds of medicine, and finally a D&C, before I could physically move on from that pregnancy, and it took far longer before I was emotionally ready to try again. Nearly a year later, my boyfriend and I gave it another shot, and thankfully that resulted in a healthy pregnancy and this much-anticipated rainbow baby. So, for simplicity’s sake, I will refer to my current pregnancy as my second, though I will never forget the baby that almost was. I’m sure many of you can relate to the heartbreak of losing a baby, and I’m sending you all my love and support. Now that I’ve ma...

Why I Let My Six-Year-Old Watch The News

In this new Trump era (shudder), one of the biggest decisions most of us parents have to make is whether to shelter our kids from the horror of the daily news, or not. This is something I struggle with everyday when it comes to my six-year-old daughter. On one hand, I want her to know what is happening in this country and around the world, because I want to raise an informed and aware child who will grow into an informed and aware adult. On the other hand, I don’t want my daughter to walk around anxious and afraid all the time. Therein lies the struggle, the push-pull between wanting to educate and wanting to shelter. Here’s two reasons why I’ve made the decision to allow my daughter to watch the news, and one reason why I still limit her exposure. 1. I want her to know. I’m trying to raise a strong, independent, educated, compassionate human, and I want her to know that there are things worth fighting for. I want her to recognize injustice and speak out against it wherever she see...

Five Ways I Know I’m Raising A “Woke” Child

There are so many differences between my own childhood and the one my six-year-old daughter is currently experiencing, but what stands out the most for me is just how “woke” or socially conscious she is compared to how I was at her age. Growing up in the 80’s and 90’s, especially with my religious and conservative parents, topics like politics, social justice, feminism, diversity, prejudice, white privilege, civil rights, homosexuality, and gender equality were rarely discussed in our house, and they definitely weren’t discussed at school, where we were taught that Columbus was a great man who discovered America, that girls should behave like “ladies,” and that if a boy chases or hits you, it means he likes you. My daughter is so much more woke than I was at her age (hell, she’s more woke than I was ten years ago), and I can see it shining through in the following ways: 1. She recognizes injustice and speaks out against it. If my daughter sees someone being treated unfairly - for ex...

When Our Kids Inherit Our Own Insecurities: My Daughter Hates Her Curly Hair

I was getting my daughter Bina ready for preschool the other morning, when she burst into tears. “I don’t like my hair,” she said. “I want it to be straight like Ava’s!” Ava, my boyfriend’s seven-year-old daughter, has enviably straight and thick hair, the kind any woman would love to have. Any woman, including my four-year-old. “Your hair is beautiful!” I responded in what I hoped was a natural voice. “I love your curls!” But my daughter, who already has a no-bullshit stance on life, was not having it that day. “Well I don’t like them!” she responded. “When can I make my hair straight?” I looked at her, with her hopeful eyes, and sighed. “You can make your hair straight when you’re older, in a few years,” I said, hoping that answer would suffice as I put a bow in her hair. And for that morning, it did. This wasn’t the first time we’d had this conversation. The topic comes up regularly, usually in the mornings when I am doing her hair for school. Without warning, she’ll start c...

Attack of the Judgy Moms: Five Things Moms Get Judged On by Other Moms Every Day

If you’re a parent with an Internet connection, you’ve probably read the recent story about David Beckham and his four-year-old daughter’s pacifier. Earlier this month, Beckham was photographed out with his little girl, who had a pacifier in her mouth at the time. The UK’s Daily Mail then published a story in which “experts” criticized him for this parenting decision, saying that she may end up with “speech or dental issues” as a result of the pacifier use. They added that as a celebrity he is a role model, and people seeing the pictures will think that this is normal behavior when it’s not. In a real-life move that I applaud wholeheartedly, Beckham took to Instagram to respond, defending himself and slamming the paper with the following statement: “Why do people feel they have the right to criticize a parent about their own children without having any facts?? Everybody who has children knows that when they aren’t feeling well or have a fever you do what comforts them best and most...