How Doing Yoga is Making Me a Better Mother (Part I)

I started doing yoga again about a month ago.  A coworker of mine told me that she took lunchtime classes three times a week at the gym down the block from our office, and she asked me if I wanted to join. For me, the idea of consistently doing anything three times a week is daunting, so I knew that while I might be diligent for the first week, I would soon slack off to once, maybe twice a week. But the fees were so low--$29/month for a gym membership that included unlimited classes--that I figured even if I only went once a week, it would still be well worth the money.

I tried yoga about a year and a half ago, when I was married and living in Las Vegas. I enjoyed it, but I only went once a week for a couple of months, so I never really got into the groove or progressed with my poses. The class was also at 6:30pm, and the after-work time slot meant I lost out on valuable time with my daughter, which left me feeling guilty. I remember a coworker at the time told me that in order to get the full benefits of yoga, you need to go at least twice a week, and now I can definitely see her point.

Because since I started going to yoga class three times a week (nope, I haven't slacked off yet, though I have missed a few classes because of deadlines), a change has come over me. I firmly believe that doing yoga is making me a better mother. Here’s how:

1. It Is teaching me to live in the present moment.

Yoga is all about staying in the present moment. My teachers emphasize focusing on your breath, listening to yourself breathe in and out of your nose, and banishing any thoughts unrelated to your breath and the pose you are undertaking. Writing this, that sounds nearly impossible to me, and yet I am getting better and better at it. As I am still a newbie, many of the poses are still very challenging for me, and I need to focus all of my mental attention just to attempt them. And when we are in resting poses, and thoughts of work or money or even my daughter pop into my head, I am getting better at forcing myself to clear my mind. 

I work in San Francisco’s Financial District, and the one o’clock yoga class I attend is full of young professionals like myself, who work long hours at busy, stressful jobs. Trying to shut off the constant stream of mental chatter, and forget about: what you have to get done that afternoon, deadlines, meetings, what your boss meant, how you’re going to respond to that email, whether you’ll have to work that weekend, and everything else that comes with corporate life, is extremely challenging. Our teachers certainly have their work cut out for them. But slowly, slowly, I am learning.

The other day my teacher said, “Focus on the present, it’s the only thing that’s real. Everything else is just memories, or stories of what could happen.” 

Learning to focus on the present moment is making a huge impact on my stress level, and lately I feel more in control, and less panicked than I have in a long time. I have my stresses--I’m a single mom of a toddler, I have a challenging job, I’m trying to pursue my dream of becoming a fiction author, and I am busier than I have ever been in my life--including during grad school. But I’ve discovered that it is very difficult to feel stressed when you aren’t allowed to think about any of your problems or responsibilities. And it feels amazing to allow myself to take that mental break. Just taking that time for myself three times a week has chilled me out a lot, and I know that my daughter feels the change in me. And because I take the class during my lunch hour, I don’t miss out on any additional time with her.

I also feel like yoga is helping me get better at staying in the moment when I’m playing with my her, and that is priceless. So often I find my mind wandering when I am with her, and that’s normal--it’s human. It is so difficult to put aside adult thoughts and worries and responsibilities, and yet that is what she needs from me when we are together. She needs me to focus on her and our interaction, whether it is playing with blocks, cooking dinner, or singing “The Wheels on the Bus” for the tenth time that day. I feel like I owe her that level of attention, and yoga is teaching me to control my mental flow, and make an active decision to focus all of my attention on the present moment with her.

Stay tuned for Part II of "How Doing Yoga is Making Me a Better Mother."