Not A Hipster Mom

One of the most amusing and amazing things about watching my four-year-old daughter grow is witnessing her become better and better at making excuses. And when it comes to making excuses, bedtime is her specialty. If tonight is like most other nights in my mom-life, bedtime will be a struggle. Here’s 50 reasons why my child won’t go to sleep tonight: 1. It’s too hot. 2. It’s too cold. 3. She needs water. 4. She needs more water. 5. It’s too dark in her room. 6. The nightlight is too bright. 7. The door is closed too much. 8. The tv is too loud because I opened the door a little more. 9. She doesn’t have enough blankets. 10. She has too many blankets. 11. Her blanket is facing the wrong way and she can’t see Rainbow Dash. 12. She wants to read another book. 13. She needs a snack. 14. She thinks she forgot to eat her vitamin. 15. Her tummy hurts. 16. Her foot hurts. 17. Her ear hurts. 18. She needs to tell me something. 19. She needs me. 20. She doesn’t have anyone ...

Ever since I was a little kid, I’ve always had a special relationship with the Fourth of July. My parents tried to make the holiday fun for me and my siblings -- they always made a special effort. And now as an adult, while other people might stress about what they’re going to do on New Year’s, I care more about where I’m going to barbecue on the Fourth, and how I’m going to make it the perfect day. This year, I will be celebrating by enjoying a barbecue with my boyfriend’s family and each of our daughters, so I know I’ll have a great time. But lately I’ve found myself thinking about the holiday in a way that goes beyond barbecues and fireworks. Perhaps because my plans are set, or because my daughter is getting older, or maybe because of everything that is happening in our country right now, I’m thinking about what it means to celebrate the fact that we are Americans, and what I wish for my daughter’s future here. I have always had a strong personal connection to this country in a...

My boyfriend and I just got back from two days at Disneyland with our daughters. We planned the trip in celebration of their birthdays, which are just a few weeks apart at the beginning of the summer, thinking that rather than buy them a bunch of stuff, this year we would give them an experience they could enjoy together and maybe even remember. That’s the funny thing about being a parent: everything sounds so awesome and doable in theory, and then reality spits up in your face. While the girls loved our Disneyland vacation, and we all had a lot of fun, it was not without its challenges. With that in mind, I present to you my five real-life, tried-and-true steps to the best Disneyland family vacation ever. You can thank me later. 1. Leave the kids at home. Seriously, they’ll be fine, and if you bring them with you they’ll just slow you down, like a lot. 2. No, but really, accept that this trip is for the kids. You did not go to Disneyland to frolic through the park and ride Space...

When you’re expecting, or just had a baby, everyone wants to give you advice, from your second cousin to the checkout lady at the grocery store. And while I received many helpful (and some decidedly less helpful) tips, there were some things that I had to discover for myself. Here’s a list of ten fun things no one told me about parenting a young child. Can you relate? 1. Your child will unknowingly say or do things that remind you of something dirty, and you and your partner will laugh your asses off while she stares at you like you’re clinically insane. 2. They grow up so gradually that you don’t even notice it, until the day you really notice, when she’s arguing with you and winning. It’s like one day your child is a toddler sitting backward in the backseat with limited understanding and no long-term memory, and the next she is a fully-functioning human who asks you what song lyrics mean while you frantically change the channel looking for a song without the words “lick” and “boo...

It has been almost a year since I last posted on this blog, and in that time a lot has happened. My daughter turned three and started singing, counting, and talking up a storm (she never stops!). We traded our tiny apartment in hipsterville Oakland for a condo in what I like to call the “deep East Bay,” and I’m still trying to adjust to living in the suburbs. Little Bean graduated from in-home daycare to a full-blown Montessori preschool with 40 kids and monkey bars on the playground, and is suddenly extremely grown up and independent. And I met a wonderful man with a daughter of his own, and fell madly in love. Sometimes in life we have to take a step back from things in order to take a step forward. Last summer I felt the need to retreat, have some privacy, to let life happen, unreported and unedited. Now, ten months later, I feel refreshed and ready to write. I look forward to sharing my parenting adventures again on notahipstermom -- it’s therapeutic for me, and hey if my stories ...

This Sunday is Mother’s Day, and mothers across the country will celebrate with their families in a grand show of appreciation to the women who bring us into the world, raise us to adulthood, and continue to nurture us even once we have children of our own.  This Sunday, mothers will receive flowers, cards, gifts, and jewelry, and some will even eat breakfast in bed courtesy of their spouses and children, who will be well-meaning if not successful in their cooking attempts. While there are some mothers who choose to opt out of this holiday for various reasons, on the whole, this Mother’s Day most of America will find a way to show their wives and mothers just how much they appreciate them. I’ve always had a complicated relationship with Mother’s Day given my complicated relationship with my mother, and I always hoped that one day I would have children, and we would create our own Mother’s Day traditions. I told myself that I would reinvent Mother’s Day for myself once I wo...

When it happened, she caught me completely off guard. For a few seconds, all I could think of was that scene in Kindergarten Cop, when the little boy stands up in front of his class and proudly proclaims, “Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina!” much to the amusement of the other children.  My daughter was sitting on the toilet, when out of nowhere she started to imitate the way little boys hold themselves when they pee.  “Mommy,” she said, “this is how Dylan goes pee pee at school.”  I nodded, and said, “Yes, baby, that’s because Dylan is a boy. Boys have a penis, and girls have a vagina. Dylan is a boy, and you’re a...” I waited for her response.  “Girl!” she shouted. But it didn’t end there. “Mommy,” she said, “I want one.”  “You want what,” I said in shock, “a penis?” “Yes, Mommy. Me have one when I get bigger?” she asked hopefully, her face as sweet and eager as a kid on Christmas morning. “No, baby, you will never have a penis...